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  • It only took the vehicle 11 years and 2 months. That's the furthest any off-earth vehicle has traveled — beating out the Soviet Union's moon rover.
  • Coachella in California and Lollapalooza in Chicago say they won't tolerate the photo-taking tools. Coachella even dismissed them as "narciss-sticks."
  • Ex-GOP presidential candidate Mitt Romeny went 2 rounds with boxer Evander Holyfield in a charity event. Also, Russian President Vladimir Putin played hockey in a game showcasing retired Russian pros.
  • Police in Washington responded to a call about a Bengal tiger — turns out it was a stuffed animal. In Thailand, an elephant grabbed a tourist's camera. Instead of a selfie, can we call it an elfie?
  • A girl in Italy was celebrating her 9th birthday, and she wanted a My Little Pony cake. Instead, she got a Little Tony cake. The Elvis doppelganger was semi famous in 1960's Britain.
  • The singing by the former Kingsmen's was so hard to understand, the FBI conducted an investigation into whether the lyrics were obscene. The FBI concluded: unintelligible at any speed.
  • The International Space Station crew took delivery of a projection screen that measures 65 inches. It's supposed to be for video conferences only, but the other day the crew watched the movie Gravity.
  • Smoke spilling from a microwave near the Senate chamber set off alarms. No one has come forward to claim responsibility for the overcooked Kraft macaroni and cheese.
  • In Stockholm, neighbors told police that the suspect was dressed all in black, carrying a toddler in a red tote bag. Torkel Kristoffers says his son Axel just wanted a ride.
  • Alex Trebek made fun of contestants on Jeopardy! when nobody answered a single one of the questions in a category about football.
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